Blog Post

The Big Move 

  • By Rosalinda Boronat
  • 26 May, 2017

I would be the first person to admit that when I have to deal with a complicated situation or I am moving through unchartered territory in my life, that my go-to move is to search the internet for answers. That’s why this week I decided to share something personal that my family and I are currently experiencing, in the hopes that it might be of help to someone going through a similar situation. As my brother Danny, who has autism, grew up and reached adulthood there has been a looming uncertainty about what the next step in his life would be, and who would take care of him when my parents were no longer able to. My family has been an active advocate for adults with disabilities for decades, enough to land my brother and my Mom on the cover of Newsweek Magazine in 2006, but that didn’t mean that my brother’s future was anywhere near set in stone. Even for the most active parents and caretakers, the task of finding services for our loved ones with special needs is an incredibly daunting task. Fast Forward to 2017 and it just so happens that about a month ago we were notified of a vacancy in a supervised apartment in the neighbouring town, and from there everything has moved incredibly quickly, and in the blink of an eye my brother will be moving into his new home in just a few days.

At first, simply making the decision to commit to such a significant change in my brother’s and my family’s lives was difficult. Of course what we ultimately were trying to determine was whether moving to this supervised apartment was the best move for my brother’s happiness, well-being, and quality of life. Even for a person with exceptional communication skills, expressing what they truly want in a moment of transition or a major life event is difficult. So, when it comes to a person with autism the difficulty level raises to somewhere around impossible. How can you make such an impactful decision about someone else’s life without being able to ask them if they are feeling happy, sad, scared, excited, uncertain, angry, disappointed, overjoyed, liberated, trapped, or a combination of all the emotions under the sun? Our reaction to moving to a new place is not always a clear cut  “yes definitely, I’m ecstatic” or a “no way, I’d rather die.” Actually, in the majority of cases, our emotions lay in the grey area between these two extremes, and expressing this grey area in words is something that is immensely challenging to my brother.  

Considering the uncertainty, complexity, and importance of a transition like this in my brother’s life, we are all pretty much an emotional mess, however temporarily. If you’re reading this and you’re also a mess, you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. I find that it is best to recognize that the reason this is so difficult to deal with is because of all the “unknowns” about the near and distant future that we are facing.  The hard truth is that only time can tell me if this move was the best choice or not.. Unfortunately, I am a person with about zero patience, so my own advice won’t exactly be an easy pill to swallow, but I know that for right now all we can do is try our best to do the right thing by keeping Danny’s needs in focus, and rely on our faith to carry us through the rest of the way.  


By Loretta Boronat 02 Jul, 2019
"We’re sure people were more civil, despite all the assassinations, riots and cities literally burning. And in this mythic past, parenting was much easier than it is today." Read more here: https://www.mysiblingdolls.com/millennial-parents-are-raising-their-kids-fine
By lorettarosellc@aol.com 24 Jun, 2019
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By Rick Stubblebine 25 Mar, 2019
"A significant share of parents, across income levels, say they’re involved in their adult children’s daily lives." Read full post here: https://www.mysiblingdolls.com/young-adulthood-in-america-children-are-grown-but-parenting-doesnt-stop
By lorettarosellc@aol.com 19 Mar, 2019
"But aside from improving your children’s vocabulary, research shows that being an early reader helps kids develop comprehension skills, makes them more receptive to creativity, and better able to navigate change." Read more here: https://www.mysiblingdolls.com/here-are-parenting-tips-to-learn-how-to-raise-a-reader
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